Maskit Hodsman & Yitzhak Kadya
The Phototherapy Dept. student Maskit Hodsman talks about her connection with Yitzhak Kadya:
Yitzhak Kadya, is divorced, has few health problems such as high blood pressure and rheumatic problems. He is independent and functioning well. He was formerly hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital. He has three children. One son in a hostel for the mentally ill- His situation and hardships are a burden for Yitzhak.
When we meet we are cooking together, watching documentary films and reading (I learned cooking therapy). We cooked the Pessach holiday meal together. I invited him over for the dinner, but it was hard for him with noise and children, thus he decided to invite his ex-wife and hurt son for Pessach dinner.
Yitzhak was very happy to hear that the Perach Zahav Scholarship that I am receiving can continue next year as well. He told me he had dreams at night that the connection was over, and he was relieved to know that we can continue to meet. In our meetings we talk a lot. He tells me about his difficulty with the mentally disabled son, the phones from the hostel where he stays, how they tend to call him whenever there is a problem or something goes wrong. I feel that the more we talk, the more Yitzhak finds the strength to put his boundaries to his son and the hostel. I also try very hard to define boundaries within our relationship. I notice his thirst for physical contact but do not feel it is right for me to satisfy this need. Yitzhak tells me that he “embraces me in his heart.” (The definition of borders is a cross-cutting issue in the relations that are understood in the scholarship; many students deal with questions there).
At almost every meeting we cook together. I arrange the refrigerator for Yitzhak, taking out boxes of food that are no longer valid. Yitzhak’s house is very orderly but also very crowded. He tends to store, mainly food parcels. Sometimes when we cook he does not has the strength- He suffers from pain, thus I cook for him and he sits and watches me. He buys all the ingredients in advance. Since we began to meet, Yitzhak had upgraded his garden. The garden became much more cultivated and he planted vegetables and spices for our cookings. He told me that it is an upgrade of his quality of life to have someone that is worried about him having something hot to eat. The connection is very significant for him and this is evident. The connection contributes to his sense of vitality, fullness, and a catalyst for him to be active. The garden really looks different. It is like a metaphor for our relationship. At the same time, Yitzhak also developed certain dependency- Sometimes he calls to make sure gently that I am coming. He checks: “We are set for four, right?”